That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
