Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
