and she was petting her beer can
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
