idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
