normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
