I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
