I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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