that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
