He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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