Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
there was a trapeze. enough said
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
you made out with another girl for some wings
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
