Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
A+ Viking dick
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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