Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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