somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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