When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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