So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
