we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
