she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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