i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
