hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
