After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
