Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
