I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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