On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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