if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
