Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
