My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
