: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
