My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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