I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
