my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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