a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
