And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
