try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
