I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ttyl tear gas
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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