at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
