So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
