What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
