I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
