i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
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