so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
