just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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