I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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