I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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