This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
