I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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