walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
