All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
