I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
