im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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