you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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