Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
