Im at strip club and am horny
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
