Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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