Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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